


i'm a good-for-nothing

by nctucomeback



Category: A.C.E (Beat Interactive Band)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Insecurity, M/M, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-09
Updated: 2017-08-09
Packaged: 2018-12-13 04:10:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11751714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nctucomeback/pseuds/nctucomeback
Summary: seyoon notices byeongkwan's odd behavior regarding pictures





	i'm a good-for-nothing

**Author's Note:**

> this is my very first fanfic ever so i hope it's good! let me know if you enjoyed! thank you for reading!

byeongkwan was all at the same time reserved but friendly and open; serious and mature, but still childish and innocent. as soon as seyoon met the pale boy he’d been fascinated by him. the way he worked made the gears in the elder’s mind turn. when they were first introduced, the (very slightly) smaller boy seemed to glow and bring him in. it was from the very beginning seyoon knew they’d be close. 

the five of them all stood in their new practice room nervous, but smiling as they greeted their new group mates. it was all so new. they were buzzing with excitement for the future. seyoon approached byeongkwan with a small bow and asked him about himself. the latter shied away with a sheepish smile, mumbling something about being nothing special. seyoon made a mental note and promise to himself to get this obviously very special boy to open up before greeting the other three.

~

it was the day of their first photoshoot. yoochan was finishing up his turn. everyone but byeongkwan had been shot already and now he was wringing his sweater paws with nerves. seyoon kept an eye on him from across the room. he had the neck of his white turtle neck pulled up over his nose, making him look oh so soft. junhee made a remark about calling him “turtlekwan” from now on. “aha so funny, jun, please tell more,” donghun remarked, rolling his eyes. 

“hyung, don’t you think you should show your face for our first pictures?” chan questioned, reaching up to remove byeongkwan’s makeshift face mask. a sharp slap rang out in the small room and everyone’s heads turned. chan held his arm to his chest, his hand the obvious victim. the tips of the turtle-boy’s ears had turned bright red and he was gushing apologies to the maknae. the youngest was quick to accept, trying to restore the peace. 

seyoon made his way to the flustered boy and put a hand on his shoulder, making sure he was okay. after a fast and over-exaggerated nod from byeongkwan, the photoshoot went on.

~

as time went on, seyoon noticed byeongkwan would never join in pictures with the other guys. the only pictures of him on their social media were ones he took. unless he was the one holding the camera, he would refuse. they watched him swerve out of line of sight many times. he was alright with selfies alone, but any offguards or pictures where he wasn’t completely ready seemed to make him so uncomfortable. he wouldn’t say anything, though. just sigh and wander off to be alone. seyoon wishes there was a way to find out why. he wishes he could get his friend to open up to him.

~

seyoon woke in the morning with a small headache. he glanced around the room he shared with jun and byeongkwan and found himself alone and in silence, save for the sound of the shower in the connected bathroom. as he rolled out of bed, he grabbed an aspirin off his night stand and headed to the kitchen. he poured a glass of water as he checked the time on the microwave. 7:24. they were headed to the studio in a little over half an hour to record a few covers. he sighed and prayed whoever was in the shower would hurry their head ass up. 

he narrowed it down to byeongkwan and decided to go ask if he was almost done. as he entered the room he heard no shower running and rejoiced. 

“byeongkwan? are you finished yet? i really need to—“ before he could finish, the door swung open and the previously mentioned rushed out. 

“i’m really really sorry i’m just trying to look okay i can't get my hair to look okay and i’ve wet it down 6 times and it still won't cooperate—“ seyoon decided it was his turn to interrupt. 

“hey, shh don't worry so much. you look fine, kwannie, but if your hair is bothering you that much when i get out of the shower i’ll help you fix it, okay? promise.” he rested his hand on the younger’s shoulder, a gesture he performed quite often, and smiled. byeongkwan just nodded and sat on the edge of the bed patiently. seyoon wondered what was up with him, but brushed it off as he stepped in the bathroom. 

~

after they finished recording their cover of flashlight, they all found their places on the practice room floor. chan was leaning against the wall, screeching one of those god forsaken chainsmokers songs. donghun laid with his head in jun’s lap, dozing. seyoon scrolled through his phone, fully content with the song they’d just sung together. wanting to tell fans of the cover coming out and express his excitement, he decided to post a picture on instagram. he scooched over to byeongkwan and held up his phone for a selfie. his selfie partner hid his face so quickly it was a blur. a small plead could be heard in the whispered words, “not right now…” not wanting to make him uncomfortable, seyoon lowered his phone. 

“i wanted to tell the fans about our song,” he whined, “please?” giving a little tug on byeongkwan’s sleeve. with a sigh, he reluctantly agreed. the two began trying for the perfect selfie. in the elder’s opinion, the first one was absolutely perfect. the blonde didn't think so, not one bit.

“can we delete that one please? my cheeks look all fat…” he looked towards the ground, hiding embarrassment. seyoon smiled a little, and nodded. byeongkwan was opening up a little. they tried about 5 more times, each one byeongkwan finding a flaw in. he finally gave up, telling seyoon to post whatever one he wanted. seyoon let them retry until he finally felt comfortable. 

~

the boys all trained so hard and when they got breaks from practicing (and practicing and practicing and—) they’d all go out to eat and relax. even though their relationship as a group was still fresh, they’d share stories about family and school and homesickness. chan would make some wise crack about something stupid donghun had done earlier in the dorms and they’d bust out in a chorus of laughter. a home away from home made from friendship. 

when they finished eating, they’d go on a walk and just enjoy each other’s company. not very often did they talk during their rare strolls through parks or the streets. seyoon mostly found himself thinking about practice or being ready for bed, but this particular time was different. he had byeongkwan on his mind. he was probably over thinking, but the peculiar boy had a very strange way of avoiding cameras (a weird thing to worry about, seyoon knows.) 

this past week they’d been busking, and he could tell byeongkwan had been nervous to record it. when seyoon asked him what was wrong, he wrung his hands and looked up through his lashes.

“what if i look bad?” he whispered. it was almost laughable. him? look bad? yeah, right. he spoke words of encouragement to his worried friend and when they finished gave him a hug to congratulate his wonderful job. but when they watched back the footage at their dorm later, he watched byeongkwan tear up and nearly cry. he retired to his room quickly after, not letting anyone see him for the rest of the night. seyoon just wanted to make him feel better. 

as they rounded the pond in the park, seyoon was brought out of his thoughts by the coldest ass he’s ever had. he had slipped in a puddle and fallen right on his butt in his distractedness. the other four busted out laughing at the mud on his pants and his bitter face. they normally would stay out later, but decided to retire early so seyoon didn’t become hypothermic. the damp boy cursed himself the whole walk home, mind not once wandering back to byeongkwan. 

~

jun, donghun, and chan had gone out to the store to get food for the dorm. seyoon sat on the couch for a while, flipping channels. he realized just how bored he was with this. nothing good was on but shitty infomercials and dumb cartoons. he decided he’d go to his room and get on his laptop. he pushed himself up off the couch and made his way down the hall. though, as he approached the room he heard soft little sounds. he placed his ear against the door and listened. byeongkwan was crying. 

“kwan? please open the door.” he spoke softly at first not wanting to startle the boy, but he spoke up afterwards, “please let me in.” he heard quiet padding and the door cracked open.  
seyoon glanced up to see byeongkwan’s red, wet eyes staring back. the look on the crying boy’s face was enough to break his heart. he immediately took him into his arms. 

“i’m sorry.” byeongkwan said as he rested his head on his roommate's shoulder. seyoon told him not to apologize as he lifted him and walked them to his bed. his sniffles turned into sobs as he melted into the embrace. 

“what is it? please tell me why you’re upset, i want to help you.” seyoon pulled him tighter, running a comforting hand through his hair. 

“you’ll think i’m stupid.” he said, burying his face into his chest. “you don’t have to worry i’ll be fine. i’m just being dumb.” he wasn’t going to give the information up easily. 

they sat like that for a while, byeongkwan never really stopped crying, just took breaks. he never looked at seyoon, either. the latter just rubbed the former’s back, trying to soothe him. his eyes wandered around their shared room, falling on the younger’s phone on his bed. a picture of the five of them was on the screen. byeongkwan had been staring at it. seyoon thought to all of the times byeongkwan had avoided pictures. how many times had he done this? how often did he cry about the pictures? 

“i’m sorry if you don’t want to answer, but… why is it that you hate pictures?” he posed the question delicately. for the first time in a half hour, he felt the blonde’s eyes on him.

“i…” he couldn’t even truly begin the sentence before a sob wracked his small frame, “i don’t like myself, seyoon. i’m ugly.” he started crying again, hard and relentlessly. “my cheeks are big, my eyes are small, i don’t want anyone to look at me.”

seyoon was amazed at his confession. even with his puffy red eyes and swollen lips from crying, he looked like an angel. byeongkwan was the most beautiful person he’d ever seen.

“please don’t cry so hard. honey, you’re not ugly at all. you are the most amazing person i’ve ever laid my eyes on. i mean that.” he cupped the other’s cheeks and forced him to look at him, “i’ve been captivated by you since the moment i saw you. when you said you were nothing special, i knew that was a lie. you are perfect. beautiful.” 

when byeongkwan started crying harder, seyoon was served even more confusion. “you really mean it,” he heard, not a question, a statement. byeongkwan really believed him, “i’ve always been so insecure. i feel like everyone here is better looking than me. i don’t take pictures so no one can compare us and realize i’m the ugly one.”

the black-haired boy was so glad to hear him finally opening up. he stroked the crying boy’s face with his thumb. “you are not ugly. god, i wish you could see what i see,” he could feel this becoming a confession. his nerves hit him right in his gut. he opened his mouth to speak, but only air came out. he cracked a nervous smile. “you make me so weak.”

“what? what do you mean?” it was byeongkwan’s turn to be confused. his tears had come to a stop, his face all sticky. seyoon’s thumb stopped at the corner of his mouth. the eye contact was making both of their hearts beat out of their chests. 

“you are my best friend. i would do anything to make you happy. i want you to see how amazing you are, kwannie. i love you,” seyoon admitted lowly. he hoped he hadn’t just lost the friendship with the most important person in his life.

“you love me? like really?” byeongkwan couldn’t hide the shock in his voice. he sat up a little more to really try and gauge seyoon’s facial expression, “more than… just best friends?”

“way more than that. all i want is your happiness. it kills me to see you so upset. i don’t know what you see but i know the boy i’m in love with is nowhere near ugly.” seyoon gave him a small smile. ‘please love me, too,’ he thought to himself. out of nowhere, he got a burst of confidence, “can i please kiss you?” 

the confidence immediately disappeared afterwards. he was freaking out inside. his face heated and flushed. he felt like the rejection could kill him. he’s going to die, he’s sure. he closes his eyes to soften the blow. 

“please do.” seyoon’s eyes flew open and he caressed the back of byeongkwan’s neck. he leaned in slowly, pressing their foreheads together. he glanced down at their almost joined lips and grinned. 

“i’ve wanted to do this since i met you.” he took the final plunge and kissed him with all the feeling he could. their lips moved in perfect sync. seyoon tried to show byeongkwan how beautiful he was with just a kiss. what made it worth the initial risk was that the younger was putting in just as much passion. they finally pulled away from each other to regain their composure. “please be mine. let me show you how much you’re worth, how perfect you are.”

a nod was all he needed before he attacked his boyfriend with kisses. he knew it would take time, but he would do anything for the boy in front of him.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks again for reading and enduring all of that!  
> if you wanted to, you could follow me on instagram or twitter, both are @lovetaeyongie <3


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